Day 7 October 8th Friday

Today I slept in, missed Yoga, got breakfast, and went back to sleep. I woke up finally at 11:22. I'm uber tired. I wen to MaMa's last night. She seemed happy to see me and she laughed at Russell's crappy attempts at Thai. LOL The Internet is driving me insane. It won't connect and I really need to see my accounts and talk to Momma. :( They made us run for 10 minutes last night after class. I need to know... RIGHT NOW... how someone who smokes a pack a day can still run 3 times longer than ME!!!! WTF?!?!?! I feel a severe injustice! It kinda pisses me off and makes me bitter! I am so tired and I'm not even through my first week. I keep dreaming of things back home in a really lonely detached never again sense. It's kind of tired. I wish I was in love with someone back home or something. It would make my life so easy. Instead I have this nagging urge to get away and across the world to REALLY make sure I found the right one. I'm still not exactly accomplishing what I want. Maybe if I make money here it'll be different. It's only been one week though. I will be here another 3 months at LEAST. So obviously something will change. I know working in what I love and being with someone would change everything. What I plan for is so huge... it's hard not to see failure. But how would anything mean anything if I didn't make it happen. I would be so confused in life. I saw Peter again today. I knew I would too... so I tried to look socially acceptable. I saw him in training last night too. He came over to watch me do push ups. My pathetic attempts to lift half my body weight from the ground on my wobbly chicken arms that have never been able to function in any sort of physically acceptable manner. I think he's flirting with me but I'm really not sure. Today he got close and gazed at me again. It's a little weird. We talked a little bit. He looks like Mum. LOL I can't take him seriously because of it. I always see him wandering around and I have no idea what he does here.
*3 hours later*
Okay so I found out what he does. He's the weight lifting coach. HAHAHAHAHA Of course he is. His bicep is the size of my face. I'm hungry. Damn this Internet! So I just noticed that everyone wrote in this journal to me. I came across the first message from Heather. I started flipping through the pages and noticed that Jill had a bunch of people sign it before I left. I cried because it really does mean so much to me that people want to see me make it. I feel like I just... cannot go back without something. I can't go home with nothing. Reiteration. Awesome. This is my path. I can sense it to my core. Why else would some single girl from America who's never even been to Mexico or Canada fly half way around the world to physically discipline herself if it wasn't serious right? It will work out. It has to because there is no other option. MY LAUNDRY DRIED! It's a miracle! LOL

Russell got a new clothes rack. I put it together for him and Kru Max (aka Kru CHAMPION!)came by to help me. These older Thai men are so adorable.

Day 6 October 7th Thursday

Today I shit myself. And I mean SHIT myself. I'm sitting on my bed looking at my laptop. Minding my own business... feeling a little indigestion... decided to do what ANY normal human being would do in this situation. Pants immediately filled up. That's right. I'm gonna talk about it. Everyone poops. And I for one and tired of it being such a taboo thing. I had 0 clue it was coming. No warning what so ever. I ran into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. Blew some ass. Shit is everywhere. I always wondered how that happened and now I know. Shit on my back, legs, ass, underwear, pants, floor, toilet... everywhere. Thank for the shower in there. I rinsed it all down and was disgusted with myself. I should be drug out into the street and shot. I used an entire roll of toilet paper cleaning it up. I had to wash out my clothes with my hands. Don't worry... I washed my hands after. Thai food is amazing... but jesus christ. Amazingly this did not happen because of drinking the tap water. I only drank some tap water... 4 days ago. Before anyone had told me not to. I survived the tap water... just not the curry.

I did yoga this morning instead of Muay Thai. I think I'm gonna switch to yoga in the morning and Muay Thai in the afternoons. I like this idea a lot. And maybe soon throw in some Boran in the morning too.

I am truly grateful to the people who pray for me. Especially people I never thought would. Like aunt Marcia and Julie'O's prayers for me and finding my love. The Internet is not connecting today. :( I really want to talk to momma.