No training today, Thank God. I will probably get out today. Thank God again. I think that Russell mentioned something about me and Naomi joining him for the Vegetarian Festival. I am definitely growing annoyed with him. Or he's growing annoyed with me. Or both. I envy him a little because he has a motorbike, doesn't seem to mind sleeping on a brick (probably because his body fat acts as his cushion... I'm just sayin') and he seems to have all the money in the world to blow on whatever he wants. He's more fond of Naomi than me by far. And she seems to really enjoy his company. So I totally feel like a 3rd wheel. That and how often he mentions that he is "so much stronger than me" and "could take me if he wanted to" and "when you do Muay Thai you look like you're doing Kung Fu". Well I guess that's better than looking like a beached whale doing nothing... which is what he looks like doing Muay Thai.
I'm not sure what I want in life. I'm a ball of discontent and confusion. And I'm so tired. So very tired. My fat isn't liking it's death. It's putting up a war. But it stands no chance against my Thai trainers and their training pads. I also feel a little homesick. They (Russell and Naomi) went to Patong Beach last night. Way too late. I'm desperate for someone to hang out with that doesn't want to party all night. Someone more like myself to spend my time with. It seems like everyone bonds instantly with someone down here. I don't know how they do that... I'm not sure what I think of this place yet. I kind of ripped myself out of everything that was comfortable to me kind of without warning or a buffer zone of some kind first. Right now, I want the comforts of home. And I dream every night of being home. But I'm always alone in these dreams. It feels very weird. It makes me feel weird even when I'm awake and not dreaming. I know I'll feel this way back home too. I can't run from my issues. I cried this morning. I'm also so hungry. This is a drastic life style change. I know I'd never have done anything this serious with my life if I'd have stayed home in the environment that created it. This is definitely what I need to grow into my next stage in life. I need food. I indulged my hunger today. I got so much food. It was so nice. I wonder if he is out there somewhere wondering the same things about his own life. And if when we find each other... he'll feel answered like I hope to be. I sure would love to find out. I'm growing tired of spending my free time with Russell. The way he speaks feels so pretentious to me. I would like to know everything about his psyche. I want to know what makes him do the ridiculous things he does. I realy miss Courtney. I'm sad she's only here for another week. Naomi is very nice. I like her. But I really bonded with Courtney I think because she's American. Well she's actually Australian... but lived in America enough that she has an American accent and gets things the way I do. She understands me better I think. I formally met Sark* last night. He's from Denmark. He seems low key. Which I like a lot. He's on my block of dorms. Russell, me, Sark's trainer, and Sark. We represent the far side of the Fighter Bungalows.
I went out with Naomi and Russell. I am overwhelmed with dislike for him. He treats me like I have 1 brain cell. I was completely the 3rd wheel in ever sense of the word today. He was completely irritated to have me on his motorbike with him. He ignored me half the day. The other half he was talking down to me. And telling me how to take a fucking picture on my camera. Like I don't know how to work my own God damn camera! It's a point shoot for hell sakes. It's so awkward being around him. I can't wait to never hang out with him again. We went to Big Buddha today and ran into one of his friends. He reached across me to pull Naomi to him and introduce her as his friend to his other friend. He did not reference me once. And I stood behind them as they talked. Like I was actually not even there. I didn't know people did that! I was utterly shocked. We proceeded down the hill and saw elephants. So he stopped and got out and took my camera and pushed me to the elephant and took pictures. He then lectured me about being disrespectful to Thai people because I didn't give them money for it. Like he has ANY idea what is offensive to Thai people. Not to mention it wasn't even my idea to stop and take pictures... thanks dickwad. As we drove around I of course took pictures and he tells me to stop because we look like tourists. Ummm.... I'm pretty sure I'm white as fuck and will NEVER look like a local in PHUKET! So I'm pretty sure having a camera out isn't "blowing our cover". We went to the movies and he actually picked up Naomi and twirled her around! And hollered out "WE ARE IN THAILAND" like it was some romantic scene in a movie... it made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. And I'm pretty sure made Naomi a little uncomfortable. We went to get some food while we waited for the show to start. In the restaurant we stopped in... they closed the doors and the waiters all came out to sing and dance for us! LOL When we got into the theater... Russell took his shoes off and put his feet all over the head rest of the chair in front of him and laughed raucously at inappropriate moments.... apparently he knows nothing of what is offensive in Thai culture. I'm embarrassed to be seen with him quite honestly. His bad manners reflect badly on us. He degraded me all day and mentioned more than once, AGAIN, how much stronger he is than me. I REALLY do not like him. I really can't stand to hear him speak Thai either. It's embarrassing to be with him. I'd much rather stay distant acquaintances. I must learn to ride a motorbike and be self reliant. Because he is NOT an option anymore. Asshole. I did see Kata beach though. And it was beautiful! And Big Buddha really was awesome. Great pictures at least. :) I just will make sure that I go there and to Central Festival again without him. He chews with his mouth open too. It's repulsive. He has all this... spiritual background and experience and all these grounding things to say... and even stayed in a monastery. It's amazing to me how off balance he is. He clearly doesn't use any of that knowledge to his own advantage. Unless he's lying about the monastery. But I don't really take him to be a liar... more like an exaggerator. Him and Naomi are going to Singapore this weekend. It'd be nice if only Naomi came back. I really only wish on him his own Karma. If Karma indeed works... then he'll be served 3 fold.
I'm not sure what I want in life. I'm a ball of discontent and confusion. And I'm so tired. So very tired. My fat isn't liking it's death. It's putting up a war. But it stands no chance against my Thai trainers and their training pads. I also feel a little homesick. They (Russell and Naomi) went to Patong Beach last night. Way too late. I'm desperate for someone to hang out with that doesn't want to party all night. Someone more like myself to spend my time with. It seems like everyone bonds instantly with someone down here. I don't know how they do that... I'm not sure what I think of this place yet. I kind of ripped myself out of everything that was comfortable to me kind of without warning or a buffer zone of some kind first. Right now, I want the comforts of home. And I dream every night of being home. But I'm always alone in these dreams. It feels very weird. It makes me feel weird even when I'm awake and not dreaming. I know I'll feel this way back home too. I can't run from my issues. I cried this morning. I'm also so hungry. This is a drastic life style change. I know I'd never have done anything this serious with my life if I'd have stayed home in the environment that created it. This is definitely what I need to grow into my next stage in life. I need food. I indulged my hunger today. I got so much food. It was so nice. I wonder if he is out there somewhere wondering the same things about his own life. And if when we find each other... he'll feel answered like I hope to be. I sure would love to find out. I'm growing tired of spending my free time with Russell. The way he speaks feels so pretentious to me. I would like to know everything about his psyche. I want to know what makes him do the ridiculous things he does. I realy miss Courtney. I'm sad she's only here for another week. Naomi is very nice. I like her. But I really bonded with Courtney I think because she's American. Well she's actually Australian... but lived in America enough that she has an American accent and gets things the way I do. She understands me better I think. I formally met Sark* last night. He's from Denmark. He seems low key. Which I like a lot. He's on my block of dorms. Russell, me, Sark's trainer, and Sark. We represent the far side of the Fighter Bungalows.
I went out with Naomi and Russell. I am overwhelmed with dislike for him. He treats me like I have 1 brain cell. I was completely the 3rd wheel in ever sense of the word today. He was completely irritated to have me on his motorbike with him. He ignored me half the day. The other half he was talking down to me. And telling me how to take a fucking picture on my camera. Like I don't know how to work my own God damn camera! It's a point shoot for hell sakes. It's so awkward being around him. I can't wait to never hang out with him again. We went to Big Buddha today and ran into one of his friends. He reached across me to pull Naomi to him and introduce her as his friend to his other friend. He did not reference me once. And I stood behind them as they talked. Like I was actually not even there. I didn't know people did that! I was utterly shocked. We proceeded down the hill and saw elephants. So he stopped and got out and took my camera and pushed me to the elephant and took pictures. He then lectured me about being disrespectful to Thai people because I didn't give them money for it. Like he has ANY idea what is offensive to Thai people. Not to mention it wasn't even my idea to stop and take pictures... thanks dickwad. As we drove around I of course took pictures and he tells me to stop because we look like tourists. Ummm.... I'm pretty sure I'm white as fuck and will NEVER look like a local in PHUKET! So I'm pretty sure having a camera out isn't "blowing our cover". We went to the movies and he actually picked up Naomi and twirled her around! And hollered out "WE ARE IN THAILAND" like it was some romantic scene in a movie... it made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. And I'm pretty sure made Naomi a little uncomfortable. We went to get some food while we waited for the show to start. In the restaurant we stopped in... they closed the doors and the waiters all came out to sing and dance for us! LOL When we got into the theater... Russell took his shoes off and put his feet all over the head rest of the chair in front of him and laughed raucously at inappropriate moments.... apparently he knows nothing of what is offensive in Thai culture. I'm embarrassed to be seen with him quite honestly. His bad manners reflect badly on us. He degraded me all day and mentioned more than once, AGAIN, how much stronger he is than me. I REALLY do not like him. I really can't stand to hear him speak Thai either. It's embarrassing to be with him. I'd much rather stay distant acquaintances. I must learn to ride a motorbike and be self reliant. Because he is NOT an option anymore. Asshole. I did see Kata beach though. And it was beautiful! And Big Buddha really was awesome. Great pictures at least. :) I just will make sure that I go there and to Central Festival again without him. He chews with his mouth open too. It's repulsive. He has all this... spiritual background and experience and all these grounding things to say... and even stayed in a monastery. It's amazing to me how off balance he is. He clearly doesn't use any of that knowledge to his own advantage. Unless he's lying about the monastery. But I don't really take him to be a liar... more like an exaggerator. Him and Naomi are going to Singapore this weekend. It'd be nice if only Naomi came back. I really only wish on him his own Karma. If Karma indeed works... then he'll be served 3 fold.
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