I decided to skip Yoga this morning. Mostly because I didn't want to see Russell. The weird vibes he's putting off are almost suffocating. I have to be away from him for a while. He came here to do MMA. Thank god I won't see him in class.
Before I left home I saw 10-11-10 a LOT. Today is 10-11-10. I think I knew deep down that unless I removed myself so completely from my distractions, that I'd never face myself. I'm realizing now more than ever that I need family and stability. I feel completely incapable right now of making that happen. I think I'll pull out my crystals and do some meditating. Am I a freak because I meditate with crystals? I figure that at this point I don't really care... I'm just experimenting with everything. Praying is weird for me, but I feel like I should do it. I never know how to direct my prayer. Am I praying to a god? Am I praying to an energy? Am I praying to a guardian angel? I guess... to whatever is listening. I honestly just want to find someone like me and find peace.
F-ing Douche Bag McGee started coming to beginners Muay Thai everyday now! He's coming because Naomi is in this class. And he'd do anything to get with her. It's so pathetic. It's totally pissing me off. He still gives me the cold shoulder. It's like presence has completely vanished from his consciousness. Not that I care for him to kiss my ass or anything... but it just came out of nowhere. All of a sudden he decided to stop being a friend to me. I don't get men who act like PMSing women. Why am I the only one so far that has seen through his facade? Through all of his bullshit? Sigh. It was SO obvious within the first 3 days.... oh well. I feel bad turning Naomi down all the time. But he's f-ing ridiculous.
Before I left home I saw 10-11-10 a LOT. Today is 10-11-10. I think I knew deep down that unless I removed myself so completely from my distractions, that I'd never face myself. I'm realizing now more than ever that I need family and stability. I feel completely incapable right now of making that happen. I think I'll pull out my crystals and do some meditating. Am I a freak because I meditate with crystals? I figure that at this point I don't really care... I'm just experimenting with everything. Praying is weird for me, but I feel like I should do it. I never know how to direct my prayer. Am I praying to a god? Am I praying to an energy? Am I praying to a guardian angel? I guess... to whatever is listening. I honestly just want to find someone like me and find peace.
F-ing Douche Bag McGee started coming to beginners Muay Thai everyday now! He's coming because Naomi is in this class. And he'd do anything to get with her. It's so pathetic. It's totally pissing me off. He still gives me the cold shoulder. It's like presence has completely vanished from his consciousness. Not that I care for him to kiss my ass or anything... but it just came out of nowhere. All of a sudden he decided to stop being a friend to me. I don't get men who act like PMSing women. Why am I the only one so far that has seen through his facade? Through all of his bullshit? Sigh. It was SO obvious within the first 3 days.... oh well. I feel bad turning Naomi down all the time. But he's f-ing ridiculous.
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