BLAH WITH THE RUNNING!!!! I feel like I'm getting worse. I feel like a giant pancake rolling down a hill when I run. Sloppy and falling apart. And of course I'm thinking of a fucking pancake while I'm running. I'm pushing 4 minutes. I think I'm getting worse. I'm definitely anticipating running and how long it'll be and I'm psyching myself out. But I DID meet a kitty this morning! ADORABLE! He loves attention.He fell asleep on my lap this morning and followed me to class. I met up with Russell* my new neighbor after class for lunch at Tony's. Tony down the street. On the way we ran into Naomi*. She's from Germany. She's tall with long strawberry blond hair. I think she's really fun and I'm glad she's joined us. Tony has a restaurant and rooms. He's little. I must take a picture for Annie. The food was really good. Then we went for a walk down the street and into some parts of town-ish. Phuket seems.... dirty. I sweat like a hog. It was so hot and I was fat and gross. I'm sure I was disgusting to other people too. We ate some fruit and Russell got a hair cut. Me and Naomi sat outside and scarfed fruits in the sweltering heat. Apparently Russell knows how to extend the visa for more than a pathetic 2 weeks. He says it's a trade secret. But I will get it out of him. On the way back to camp ChokChai pulled up behind us on his motorbike and offered me a ride. And of course I accepted. Being on a motorbike is like insta air conditioning. Bad ass. He is so sweet. Maybe my laundry will dry today. The sun is out here and there. It's the end of raining season here.
After class.... I am so sore. UGH. Really sore. I pushed myself a little more today than usual. And combined with the walking all day I'm really sore. Or just totally out of shape. I'm still dewy, even after my shower. A part of me really wishes to be in all the comforts of home. This is seriously a huge twist and turn from what I'm used to. I can't believe I signed up for 3 months of this. I'm crazy. I wonder if I found someone here if they'd want to go back to America with me? I wonder what Bangkok is like? I wonder what the Elephant Village in Surin is like? I REALLY want to ride the elephants up there. Why do I want to do impossible things? Why do I love impossible people? I find myself having to choose between a charmed life in America coupled with ridiculous work loads and stressful jobs or a simple life here doing things that make me happy minus all the people I know and all the frivolous things that bring me joy... whilst barely being able to walk from all the physical pain I'm in? I feel so separated from all that I know and everything I've identified myself with. Can I really do this for 3 months? This isn't like... moving to LA. This is really different. Really challenging for me mentally. But I do know that I need to do something different in life instead of being so freaking scared. This is what I get for letting myself get fat. :( I have 3 more days until a day off. *cries* and I'm only going to class once a day. I feel like an asshole for missing afternoon class too. But GAWD.
There's kids running around outside. It makes me think of the kids I want to have. I'm so tired, but I HAVE to stay awake. Jet lag is a bitch. I went to dinner with Russell and Naomi. I saw Peter there too. Peter is this giant creature of muscles. Russell is interested in what he eats for dinner. I'm more concerned how Peter stares at me. He GAZES. It's awkward. He gazed and then touched my arm longer than he should have when said goodbye.
Tonight Kru Rose stopped by my room to say goodnight. He's a super nice guy. I get a very friendly vibe from him. He reminds of Rafael. LOL He's a THAI RAFAEL!! I don't know what to make of all these Thai boys. LOL It's flattering to be paid attention to. I just enjoy the company or attention and then let it go. Best not to make too much of it.
*Names were changed... for obvious reasons.
After class.... I am so sore. UGH. Really sore. I pushed myself a little more today than usual. And combined with the walking all day I'm really sore. Or just totally out of shape. I'm still dewy, even after my shower. A part of me really wishes to be in all the comforts of home. This is seriously a huge twist and turn from what I'm used to. I can't believe I signed up for 3 months of this. I'm crazy. I wonder if I found someone here if they'd want to go back to America with me? I wonder what Bangkok is like? I wonder what the Elephant Village in Surin is like? I REALLY want to ride the elephants up there. Why do I want to do impossible things? Why do I love impossible people? I find myself having to choose between a charmed life in America coupled with ridiculous work loads and stressful jobs or a simple life here doing things that make me happy minus all the people I know and all the frivolous things that bring me joy... whilst barely being able to walk from all the physical pain I'm in? I feel so separated from all that I know and everything I've identified myself with. Can I really do this for 3 months? This isn't like... moving to LA. This is really different. Really challenging for me mentally. But I do know that I need to do something different in life instead of being so freaking scared. This is what I get for letting myself get fat. :( I have 3 more days until a day off. *cries* and I'm only going to class once a day. I feel like an asshole for missing afternoon class too. But GAWD.
There's kids running around outside. It makes me think of the kids I want to have. I'm so tired, but I HAVE to stay awake. Jet lag is a bitch. I went to dinner with Russell and Naomi. I saw Peter there too. Peter is this giant creature of muscles. Russell is interested in what he eats for dinner. I'm more concerned how Peter stares at me. He GAZES. It's awkward. He gazed and then touched my arm longer than he should have when said goodbye.
Tonight Kru Rose stopped by my room to say goodnight. He's a super nice guy. I get a very friendly vibe from him. He reminds of Rafael. LOL He's a THAI RAFAEL!! I don't know what to make of all these Thai boys. LOL It's flattering to be paid attention to. I just enjoy the company or attention and then let it go. Best not to make too much of it.
*Names were changed... for obvious reasons.
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